just tell him i said nine months
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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