ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
