yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
