i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
