why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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