If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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