think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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