I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
