And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
