Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
this just has baby written all over it
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
