found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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