i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
