Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
