You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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