Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
