If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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