so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
