My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
