Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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