Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
