Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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