Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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