bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
