How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
