The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize