I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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