If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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