That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
are you so shy because you have an std?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
