don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
