It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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