was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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