Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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