I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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