we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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