Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
