I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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