I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
