A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
No subtext here. People are naked.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
