Dual....:-)
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
