I must be too annoying 4 u.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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