Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize