Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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