Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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