There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
