he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize