she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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