I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i will never coherently bang her
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize