So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
