Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
