Moan for me like Helen Keller
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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