They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
