like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
