Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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