so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
