oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
