You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
