just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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