You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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