He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
