Pants 0. Shit 1.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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