he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
