Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Houston, we have a squirter
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
