But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize