I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
