Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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