what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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